Why You Shouldn’t Discount Your Dating Standards

A standard is a level of quality, a measurement of something, a model or norm backed up with principles. It’s important in every aspect of our lives because its high expectations tell us the amount of work we need to put in to achieve something good, it is where the value comes in. Same is true in the dating arena. One’s personal standard in finding a mate is a reflection of their self-worth, perception and let’s say, protective measures. When someone is consciously aware of his/her standards, no one can hurt them and make their life miserable.

Some people get advices to reshape their expectations, it may be helpful in cases where one’s hope is beyond reality and perfection. But altering your standards just because you’re getting many bad apples doesn’t make sense, here’s why:

It makes you unattractive

Ever thought of the people you admire? What were the qualities you admire most about them? Isn’t it their level of dedication and passion to their craft that made them famous? That they chose not to settle for anything less—because if they did, they would be just like everybody else…they would’ve not stood out from the pack. That thing right there is why you respect them.

In the same context, when the person you’re dating is under the impression that you chose to drop your standards just for them, it makes you less attractive. No, it’s not a touching act of love. It basically tells them that you don’t respect yourself and you’re shaky to uphold them. For example, if a guy is stringing you along—texting you only when he is bored and sends you a reply after 3 days and you still put up with it like nothing’s wrong, then you’re sending the message that you can be treated that way.

It won’t make you happy

There is no genuine happiness knowing you get less of what you truly deserve. It’s horrible to keep giving out big investments to someone and you are only getting a very low effort in return. At first, it may seem bearable but in the long run, it’s a recipe for huge misery and heartache.

There is no challenge

As they say, “if it’s worth it, it would not be easy.” That alone speaks truth to everything—especially in the topic of love and romance. If the other person feels it’s too easy to be with you because you’re readily available all the time and you compromise your standards, then it makes you less of a challenge. This is not like a trophy that needs to be won in a game, but merely a representation for you to see the people who have the “willing-to-take-on-whatever it takes challenge” attitude to be with you, because you deserve it.

You miss out the right person

Wasting time and effort to someone who doesn’t put in the same work makes you lose the opportunity to find the ones who can. Life is too short to waste on things that can cause so much hurt and resentment when in fact, you have a choice.

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